21 Short Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh!

short funny quotes to make you lauch

1.    Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
2.    Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
3.    Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burgess
4.    Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey
5.    If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
6.    If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams
7.    If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
William Lyon Phelps
8.    If you’re naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don’t like.
William Feather
9.    If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Laurence J. Peter
10.    I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
11.    Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
E. B. White
12.    Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Katharine Hepburn
13.    No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Abraham Lincoln
14.    Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein
15.    Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Joey Adams
16.    TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
17.    Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
James A. Garfield
18.    If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
Logan Pearsall Smith
19.    If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead
20.    Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Cathy Guisewite
21.    Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
Samuel Butler

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