Humor Quote Quotes

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.

A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

I love that there's no cutoff where we get labeled and sent off to a home for hopeless, cranky, depressives. Every day is a new chance to listen longer and be braver and love more. We get to try again and again and again.

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.