50 Witty quotes about Relationships
-
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
-
Relationships start with “Can we talk?” and end in “We need to talk”
-
The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.
-
You want to be a part of my life, the door is always open. You want to leave my life, the door is open. But don’t stand at the door, You’re blocking the traffic.
-
When your ex says: “You’ll never find anyone like me” Reply with: “That’s the point”.
-
Face book should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
-
I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.
-
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
-
No, I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship. Because my girlfriend lives in the future.
-
Dear heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood. That’s it.
-
Being in a relationship is a full time job, so don’t apply if you’re not ready.
-
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.
-
When a girl says “Do whatever you want”. Do not do whatever you want.
-
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
-
Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant.
-
Everybody has a girlfriend and boyfriend, I’m just over here like “I love food”
-
I just added another one to the “what the hell was I thinking” List.
-
A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.
-
It’s funny how we fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.
-
There actually is an “END” in friendship.
-
The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you.
-
I’ll look back on this and smile because it was life and I decided to live it.
-
Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.
-
“What is the difference? “I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soul mate?” “One is a choice, and one is not”.
-
In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is male.
-
If a girl argued with their boyfriend topless, they would win every time.
-
Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It’s not the term for the past. Ex is short for EXPIRED.
-
Today’s relationships: You can touch each other, But not each other’s Phones.
-
Everyone is in a relationship, getting married or having babies. And I’m just over here like “I love cake!”
-
A relationship lasts longer when facebook doesn’t know about it.
-
Don’t bring baggage from an ex relationship into your next relationship…unless you want it to be a short trip.
-
I’ve had two terrific relationships, But both ended in marriage.
-
A successful man is one who makes more money than this wife can spend. A successful woman is who can find such a man.
-
Relationships are like garage sales. From a distance it looks like it could be interesting, But up close, it’s just a ton of shit you don’t need.
-
Relationships sink when they have too many passengers.
-
Remember when she cancels a date, she has to. But when he cancels a date, He has two.
-
What to do when you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again.
-
Men look at women’s behind and go: “Wow, what an ass”. Women look at man’s face and think the same!
-
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
-
If a man expects his woman to be an angel in his life, then he should first create a heaven for her.
-
If women could read minds, Every second man will get slapped..
-
Love is like virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.
-
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.— Will Ferrell
-
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
-
Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-
Love makes life so confusing, but without love, would you really want to live?
-
A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
-
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
-
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine bottle.
