Andy Rooney Quotes

For most of life nothing wonderful happens. If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends then the chances are you're not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job huge amounts of money a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If on the other hand happiness depends on a good breakfast flowers in the yard a drink or a nap then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isn't true.