Brian Spellman Quotes

All surgery and no makeup make Jack a dull girl.

An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.

I can't prove it yet know it when I seem it.

If sensing so badly of yourself you also sense a need to make me sense that, then I sense sadly that you cannot make better sense … sadder still if you cannot sense my sincerity.

He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it.

Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories.

A broken shoelace can strangle me.

If the mind fits, shrink it.

When to others it's not lying. It's privacy.

Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss.

I recovered from recovering so no longer celebrate not doing bad things to defend myself as good. I added new bad for good measure.

I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.

Fifty percent of life is ninety percent indecisive. The rest is confusing.

Honesty is the best insurance policy.

All porn stars on Animal Farm are equal but some porn scenes are more unequal than others.

Peace ain't worth fighting for.

There's an ad for every vice. That's advice.

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would.

A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you.

There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy.

Babies are never suicidal. Hard lives, not hard boiled eggs do that.