Frank Zappa Quotes

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.

Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.

I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?

The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get.