Jay Leno Quotes

They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys. It's worked for over 200 years, and Hell, we're not using it anymore.

They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?

Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.

L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.

As a politician he does everything to keep out of trouble often by not asking questions. However it does bother him that every time the doorbell rings his maid hides in the dryer.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.