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  • American-Actor,Author&ComedianApril 29, 1954
  • American-Actor,Author&Comedian
  • April 29, 1954
Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
The best revenge is living well.
Jerry Seinfeld
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.
Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.
Jerry Seinfeld

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