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John Zakour Quotes

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  • American-Comic Writer,Humorist&Author
  • American-Comic Writer,Humorist&Author
I told you it was easy,” HARV said.“True, but you say that about everything.”“That's because everything is easy for me.”“Everything but humility.”“No, that's easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.
John Zakour
Forget it,” I said. “Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he’d still be preferable to listening to the two of you.
John Zakour
Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked.“This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt.
John Zakour
You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!
John Zakour
My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that bad (I have a strong heart), it’s the sudden stops that are painful. Believe me — I experienced it once.
John Zakour
So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.
John Zakour
No thanks,” I answered, “I never take rides from strangers, thugs who've tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories.
John Zakour
HARV, can you help at all here?” I asked, spinning downward.“I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.
John Zakour
I can tell you that she's not breathing,” he said. “She has no heartbeat and all organ function and brain activity have stopped. Also her body temperature is now at seventy-three degrees.”“So you’re saying that she’s dead,” I said.“Well, I can't prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way.
John Zakour
‘Foo Kyu’ is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence.""Just think about his poor son, ‘Foo Kyu Two.’
John Zakour
As a matter of fact, Ona spent more credits on the window shades alone than you will make in your entire lifetime and that’s if you live to be 185.”“And that’s meant to make me feel better?” I said.“No, that is meant to inform you. I am your computer not your nanny.
John Zakour

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