Josh Stern Quotes

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator

At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control

Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack

I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!

If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane

When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you

It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late

If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse

Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..' I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over

An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet

Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable

It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent

Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub

positivity is the father of reinvention

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity