P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty good, like oxtail. To be perfectly honest, it's delicious. (Anything about this to my golden retriever, and I'll punch your lights out.)

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

The whole idea of government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

The Hollywooden heads would buy a car for almost any purpose except a worthy one. Many automobiles were purchased to attract members of LA's eight or ten opposite sexes. Since the denizens of America's Gomorrah, were incapable of verbalizing any idea more complex than "box office gross," the expensive car served as a substitute for witty come-on and seductive chat.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it...