Quotes by Psychologists - Page 9

Shoulds can masquerade as high standards or lofty goals, but they are not the same. Goals direct us from the inside, but shoulds are paralyzing judgments from the outside. Goals feel like authentic dreams while shoulds feel like oppressive obligations. Shoulds set up a false dichotomy between either meeting an ideal or being a failure, between perfection or settling. The tyranny of the should even pits us against our own best interests.

Meg Jay

By viewing images we cast onto outer reality as mirror reflections of inner reality, we come to know ourselves.

Sallie Nichols

When you are filled with self-hate your mind is reversed. Meaning you will love the things that destroy you, and you will hate the things that advance your growth.

Amos N. Wilson

...is impossible to specify what [consciousness] is, what it does, or why it evolved. Nothing worth reading has been written on it.

Stuart Sutherland

A woman with a strong sense of personal power, is self confident enough to accurately identify her strengths as well as her blind spots, which she is continually working to improve.

Stacey Radin

To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?

Erich Fromm

The carnistic schema, which twists information so that nonsense seems to make perfect sense, also explains why we fail to see the absurdities of the system. Consider, for instance, advertising campaigns in which a pig dances joyfully over the fire pit where he or she is to be barbecued, or chickens wear aprons while beseeching the viewer to eat them. And consider the Veterinarian's Oath of the American Veterinary Medical Association, 'I solemnly swear to use my...skills for the...relief of animal suffering,' in light of the fact that the vast majority of veterinarians eat animals simply because they like the way meat tastes. Or think about how poeple won't replace their hamburgers with veggie burgers, even if the flavor is identical, because they claim that, if they try hard enough, they can detect a subtle difference in texture. Only when we deconstruct the carnistic schema can we see the absurdity of placing our preference for a flawless re-creation of a textural norm over the lives and deaths of billions of others.

Melanie Joy

What we call progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.

Henry Havelock Ellis

The tape measures and weighing scales of the Victorian brain scientists have been supplanted by powerful neuroimaging technologies, but there is still a lesson to be learned from historical examples such as these. State-of-the-art brain scanners offer us unprecedented information about the structure and working of the brain. But don't forget that, once, wrapping a tape measure around the head was considered modern and sophisticated, and it's important not to fall into the same old traps. As we'll see in later chapters, although certain popular commentators make it seem effortlessly easy, the sheer complexity of the brain makes interpreting and understanding the meaning of any sex differences we find in the brain a very difficult task. But the first, and perhaps surprising, issue in sex differences research is that of knowing which differences are real and which, like the intially promising cephalic index, are flukes or spurious.

Cordelia Fine

Living the life I wanted was my ultimate responsibility. Learning to forgive was my ultimate act of self-love.

andrea T Goeglein

Today is felt to be the most complicated day in our lives and rarely in trying to deal with the issues of today, are we aware of the impact of the past on those issues.

Martha Char Love

The desert shatters the soul's arrogance and leaves body and soul crying out in thirst and hunger. In the desert we trust God or die.

Dan B. Allender

Society already possesses the psychological techniques needed to obtain universal observance of a code -- a code which would guarantee the success of a community or state. The difficulty is that these techniques are in the hands of the wrong people--or, rather, there aren't any right people.

B.F. Skinner

Children learn best when they like their teacher and they think their teacher likes them.

Gordon Neufeld

Looking at suicide—the sheer numbers, the pain leading up to it, and the suffering left behind—is harrowing. For every moment of exuberance in the science, or in the success of governments, there is a matching and terrible reality of the deaths themselves: the young deaths, the violent deaths, the unnecessary deaths

Kay Redfield Jamison

Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being; on the other hand, to be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me,maybe this, or that—there is always a fear that love could disappear. Furthermore, "deserved" love easily leaves a bitter feeling that one is not loved for oneself, that one is loved only because one pleases, that one is, in the last analysis, not loved at all but used.

Erich Fromm

Once you’re on the negative side of the house, you're more accessible to the rooms where other negative moods hang out—irritability, frustration and anger. You're not directly there, but it's a short walk.

Simon Rego

You have a unique body and mind, with a particular history and conditioning. No one can offer you a formula for navigating all situations and all states of mind. Only by listening inwardly in a fresh and open way will you discern at any given time what most serves your healing and freedom.

Tara Brach

A word devoid of thought is a dead thing, and a thought unembodied in words remains a shadow.

Lev S. Vygotsky

Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. In reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your mind and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.

Henry Cloud

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

B.F. Skinner

Time is a daunting thing; it’s inescapable. Some moments pass unobserved and others stay with us, remaining frozen, lasting a lifetime...

Jacqueline Simon Gunn

I wasn't scared of losing my past. i was scared of losing my future.

Meg Jay

Poets may be delightful creatures in the meadow or the garret, but they are menaces on the assembly line.

Rollo May

But had Minkowski and Einstein not recognized it long before us, our schizophrenic children would have taught us that space-time is a unity that precedes any separate understanding of either category; just as grasping this unity is a precondition for understanding causality.

Bruno Bettelheim

[R]aising children ... was about identifying and amplifying their strengths and virtues, and helping them find the niche where they can live these positive traits to the fullest.

Martin E.P. Seligman

A single course of studies for all progressive schools is out of the question it would mean abandoning the fundamental principle of connection with life-experiences.

John Dewey

Mercy is a source of life because we breathe our own spirits through it into the lives of others.

Eugene Kennedy

People who own their lives do not feel guilty when they make choices about where they are going. They take other people into consideration, but when they make choices for the wishes of others, they are choosing out of love, not guilt; to advance a good, not to avoid a bad.

Henry Cloud

We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives.

Mildred Newman

Love is a powerful force. There is nothing in this world, no other energy, as powerful as the force of genuine, unconditional love.

Susan Barbara Apollon

The most stable, and therefore, the most healthy self-esteem is based on deserved respect from others rather than on external fame or celebrity and unwarranted adulation.

Abraham H. Maslow

...Studies have found that children who witness abuse are more likely to accept relationships that are abusive.

Asa Don Brown

A banal mysticism, which is so banal that all the mysticism seems to have evaporated long ago, binds 'us' to the homeland - that special place which is more than a place, more than a geophysical area.

Michael Billig

Are Child Molesters Really Just Victims Themselves? "All victims are offenders," one professional challenged me at a conference, "and all offenders are victims. How does your work address that?"My work doesn't address that because I don't believe there's any evidence for that assertion. Obviously, not all victims are offenders, but it is also likely that most offenders weren't victims. The studies that find a high proportion of child molesters who were victims of child sexual abuse themselves are almost always based on self-report, and even there, study results differ dramatically. Studies show the number of child molesters who were themselves molested as children ranges from 22 percent in some studies to 82 percent in others.[101]

Anna C. Salter

32. Before you criticize your parents for their failures and mistakes, ask yourself: “Will I really do that much better with my own children?” The job is tougher than it looks, and mistakes are inevitable!

James C. Dobson

Most people live out ordinary lives by denying death. Others live more completely because they’re aware of it. I choose the second group.

Alan Joshua

There is no season and no reason for love. Love is not seasonal its perennial.

Amit Abraham

Understand indigenous healing will also heal other nations and peoples. We've all been living on broken ugly systems built on genocide and slavery. Strengthening and empowering others, in whatever capacity, also helps the self.

Red Haircrow

The "paranormal" is what we call a phenomenon when examined through the narrow lens of what we consider "normal." You have to transcend the senses to understand them.

Alan Joshua

James, you’d like Lou Reed,” Michael insisted. “He was bisexual.”Their laughter turned to coughs. They were all staring at me when I turned around. I told myself to relax.“Oh, yeah?” I said. “He doesn’t sound bisexual.”Michael just shook his head, but Ronan and Glenn smiled.“They did electroshock therapy on him when he was a teenager,” Michael said.“Electro-what?” said Glenn. “They electrocuted people?”“Kind of. They zapped their brains to alter their personalities. That’s how they tried to make gay people straight back then.”They all looked at me for a response.I shrugged. “So, he was bisexual? It worked halfway?

Kenneth Logan

Opposites though they are, both solitude and solidarity are essential if the artist is to produce works that are not only significant to his or her age, but that will also speak to future generations.

Rollo May

But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.

Tara Brach

By marrying to soon, many individuals sacrifice their chance to struggle through this purgatory of solitude and search toward a greater sense of self-confidence. They glance at the world outside the family and with hardly a second thought grasp anxiously for a partner. In marriage they seek a substitute for the security of the family of origin and an escape from aloneness. What they do not realize is that moving so quickly from one family to another, they make it easy to transfer to the new marriage all their difficult experiences in the family of origin.

Augustus Y. Napier

invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims' feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.

Samantha Rodman

Because there wasn’t anything else to do, he settled at the kitchen tablewith a bottle of mead and nearly emptied it. The anesthetic effect he hoped for hadn’t happened, though. At least not yet.

Ann Gimpel

If you notice yourself viewing a potential partner as a "work in progress", that's a sign to find someone else.

Miya Yamanouchi

Remember that self-doubt is as self-centered as self-inflation. Your obligation is to reach as deeply as you can and offer your unique and authentic gifts as bravely and beautifully as you're able.

Bill Plotkin

Girls are genius at getting through sexual abuse. Often the only way to get through is not to feel. And that is exactly what these fantasy worlds allow: They give girls a place to go so they don't have to be present in their violated bodies. Brilliant.

Patti Feuereisen

A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement.

Kurt Lewin

I long ago abandoned the notion of a life without storms, or a world without dry and killing seasons. Life is too complicated, too constantly changing, to be anything but what it is. And I am, by nature, too mercurial to be anything but deeply wary of the grave unnaturalness involved in any attempt to exert too much control over essentially uncontrollable forces. There will always be propelling, disturbing elements, and they will be there until, as Lowell put it, the watch is taken from the wrist. It is, at the end of the day, the individual moments of restlessness, of bleakness, of strong persuasions and maddened enthusiasms, that inform one’s life, change the nature and direction of one’s work, and give final meaning and color to one’s loves and friendships.

Kay Redfield Jamison

Fear of life in one form or another is the great thing to exorcise.

William James

We do not always need to "understand" or interpret dreams to receive their gifts to heart and soul. Rather, we can circumambulate them, respect them, let their images feed our imaginations and lead us onward, just as a glimpse of ocean or lake renews and orients and refreshes us on a long drive.

Jill Mellick

Instead, every precaution was taken not to violate his rights. Remember, many administrators have no difficulty in expelling a student who utters an unwelcome opinion about the immorality of homosexuality.

James C. Dobson

Our power lies in our small daily choices, one after another, to create eternal ripples of a life well lived.

Mollie Marti

The "paranormal" is what we call a phenomenon when examined through the narrow lens of what we consider "normal." You have to leave the entrapment of "normal" beliefs to understand them much as zero gravity can't be understood when you are earthbound.

Alan Joshua

Take notice of what thoughts you choose to fill your mind with each day. Our thoughts draw to us whatever is dominating our mind, so always keep what you are thinking about in check.

Miya Yamanouchi

If you think something is missing in your life, it is probably YOU...

Robert Holden

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the crudest words.

Joyce Brothers

Loving someone is very different from the heady feeling of being "in love," which is, frankly, just temporary insanity.

Barton Goldsmith

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