Cynical Quotes

I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side.

It's nice to be able to do things for other people, isn't it?That's why it's fun to talk in the third person sometimes.

I never said I was sad, I’m just pessimistic,” said Alecto. “Expect the worst, that way you’ll never be disappointed, Mandy Valems.

If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.

Writers whose thoughts are expressed with clarity and precision are assumed by readers to be superficial. Where the meaning is obscured, then readers give more attention and consider the fruit of their labour more valuable

The pessimist reason that things just happen, where the optimist believe that things happen for a reason.

Being unhappy alone isn't all that much fun, but what's even tougher is playing one's part without forgetting one's lines, coping with other people's compassion, their comments, being there with the right line when they give the cue.

One cannot answer for his courage when he has never been in danger.

No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.

...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.

Preferring the nausea of the path to its fated and certain ending.

A lifetime spent in the study of the history of societies since the dawn of mankind presumably inclined him to skepticism and misgivings in regard to any great scheme, religious or political, that set out to create universal happiness in one fell swoop; what it was more likely to create, in his opinion, was universal misery; and his faith in heaven-sent saviors was hardly greater.

Breslin gives me his wise-teacher smile, which is kind and crinkly and would make me feel warm all over if I was dumber than a bag of hair.

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Life's generally artless, but it does get these occasional hard-ons for plot. It connects things, nefariously, behind yor back, and before you know it you're in a final act of a lousy movie. A lousy horror-movine, usually...

The day I became a writerit wasn't the day a whore paid me in sexin exchange for one of my bookswhich happened often and more and moreas time went onit wasn't the first time someone actually paid for one of my bookswhich happens less and less as time goes onIt was the day I realizedthat everything is created by manGod, Satan, Judas, phobias, excrement, even deatheven womeneverything is created by manSo I said to myselfshit, let me make something let me tape together some words and sentencesand proseand predicatesand the residual shit that sticks to my ass after I wipeand compose a new kind of thingBut then I realized that others had discovered thisfor themselves as wellAnd suddenly the world became a jungleWhere everyone eats each other aliveAnd shits out the same shit

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.

The first rule in life is 'everybody lies.' Remember that and you'll get a lot further.