Funny Quote Quotes

Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.

Money can't buy love, except on Valentine’s Day.

I’m much more than a writer – I’m someone who puts different words together in an interesting way.

My childhood was a drag show!

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

Your booty call embargo will remain intact.

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law.

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.