Mark Twain Quotes

You gwyne to have considerable trouble in yo' life, en considerable joy. Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.

Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower intestine.' I'd put that on a T-shirt but probably Mark Twain already said it.

It don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no sense, and just goes for him anyway.