Snark Quotes

The day you ever have that much control over my behavior, it will be because somebody's asking you, should she get the pine box or a plain white shroud?

You don't have to make fun of it.""Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything.

A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport.

My inner goddess confirms that staring at a beautiful/rich/powerful face is the basis of True Love.

He shakes his head and his mouth is quirked at one corner. I can't tell if he thinks I am sort of amusing or truly pathetic. It's especially hard to tell because we are both looking resolutely at the teacher so she can't accuse us of not paying attention. We talk out of the sides of our mouths, like gangsters in those old movies my dad likes to watch.

I always wonder why condescending snarkiness is the chosen method of communication for so many forum users. It seems to me like these things would be much better expressed in non-confrontational, polite manner.

As a gentleman- assuming you still have some pretensions in that direction- of honor- again, perhaps presumptuous, but still supposing your passing acquaintance with the concept- it is your duty- I won't even trouble to speculate here, but remain naively hopeful- to protect those under your care.

I understand that you don’t want to marry me,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know why, since I’m simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste.

If God gave Dad Alzheimer’s, He’s got to understand when Dad forgets what church he belongs to.

He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.

And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked.

He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars.

If the apocalypse comes...beep me!