Quotes by Satirists - Page 2

Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their knowledge.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are—to most people—not important at all.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One man meets an infamous punishment for that crime which confers a diadem upon another.

Juvenal

People who regularly abuse power don't like being laughed at'.

Pieter-Dirk Uys

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

Lenny Bruce

Chomie' is South African homosexual men’s unofficial name.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We think our fathers fools so wise we grow Our wiser sons no doubt will think us so.

Alexander Pope

Later the place was as deserted as Malcolm Muggeridge's Christmas party of fellow intellectuals.

William Donaldson

Plagiarism is the fear of a blank page.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We owe some of our successes to people who did not want to help us more than we do to those who have helped us.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most of the very few people who would choose a good heart over riches would eventually use that to either make a lot of money, or attract men or women who are rich.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Pale death kicks with impartial foot at the hovels of the poor and the towers of kings.

Horace

To wake the soul by tender strokes of art,To raise the genius, and to mend the heart

Alexander Pope

Eating healthy is expensive. Not eating healthy is expensive. One dents your pocket. The other dents your health.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Human existence being an hallucination containing in itself the secondary hallucinations of day and night (the latter an insanitary condition of the atmosphere due to accretions of black air) it ill becomes any man of sense to be concerned at the illusory approach of the supreme hallucination known as death.

Flann O'Brien

To halve the number of times that other people hurt you: halve the number of expectations that you have from other people.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Oh let me live my own! and die so too! ("To live and die is all I have to do:") Maintain a poet's dignity and ease, And see what friends, and read what books I please.

Alexander Pope

There's a large strain of irony in our human affairs... Interwoven with our affairs is this wonderful spirit of irony which prevents us from ever being utterly and irretrievably serious, from being unaware of the mysterious nature of our existence.

Malcolm Muggeridge

It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to stick to it.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Who knows if the gods above will add tomorrow's span to this day's sum?

Horace

Usually speaking the worst-bred person in company is a young traveller just returned from abroad.

Jonathan Swift

A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Yet, Malice never was his Aim;He lash'd the Vice but spar'd the Name. No individual could resent,Where thousands equally were meant. His Satry points at no Defect, But what all Mortals may correct...Verses on the death of Dr Swift

Jonathan Swift

I keep my books at the British Museum and at Mudies.

Samuel Butler

Once a woman goes over 25, she prioritizes 'financial security' in a potential lover. Love and good looks are just a bonus.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

Ambrose Bierce

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

People who complain about something that they cannot do anything about are as irritating as those who complain about something that they can do something about.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Unacquainted with grief, I knew not how to appraise my bereavement; I could not rightly estimate the strength of the stroke.

Ambrose Bierce

Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave.

Karl Kraus

Some artists benefit less from being interviewed than they do from being left alone.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Nature to all things fixed the limits fitAnd wisely curbed proud man's pretending wit.As on the land while here the ocean gains.In other parts it leaves wide sandy plainsThus in the soul while memory prevails,The solid power of understanding failsWhere beams of warm imagination play,The memory's soft figures melt awayOne science only will one genius fit,So vast is art, so narrow human witNot only bounded to peculiar arts,But oft in those confined to single partsLike kings, we lose the conquests gained before,By vain ambition still to make them moreEach might his several province well command,Would all but stoop to what they understand.

Alexander Pope

Zsa Zsa Gabor when asked which of the Gabor women was the oldest said "She'll never admit it but I believe it is Mama." When men grow virtuous in their old age they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.

Jonathan Swift

Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Those who say that money can’t buy one love make it sound as if love can buy one money.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Overrated is order.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is rude to tweet while having sex. However, it is not rude to have sex while tweeting.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Anger is a short madness.

Horace

No matter how ill we may be nor how low we may have fallen we should not change identity with any other person.

Samuel Butler

Jesus Christ was innocent too,' said Svejk, 'and all the same they crucified him. No one anywhere has ever worried about a man being innocent. Maul halten und weiter dienen ['Grin and bear it and get on with the job'] - as they used to tell us in the army. That's the best and finest thing of all.

Jaroslav Hašek

Is ours a government of the people, by the people, for the people, or a kakistocracy rather, for the benefit of knaves at the cost of fools?

Thomas Love Peacock

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

St. Teresa of Avila described our life in this world as like a night at a second-class hotel.

Malcolm Muggeridge

Working overtime is an underpaid man’s salvation.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There is nothing meritorious but virtue and friendship.

Alexander Pope

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Love songs are nothing without exaggeration.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Fate would have no divinity if we were wise: it is we who make her a goddess and place her in heaven.

Juvenal

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Ambrose Bierce

Weekends are an employee’s parole.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Past humanity is not only implicit in each new man born but is contained in him. Humanity is an ever-widening spiral and life is the beam that plays briefly on each succeeding ring. All humanity from its beginning to its end is already present but the beam has not yet played beyond you.

Flann O'Brien

Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

With most people doubt about one thing is simply blind belief in another.

G. C. Lichtenberg

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork.

Jonathan Swift

What dire offence from am'rous causes springs,What mighty contests rise from trivial things,...

Alexander Pope

Instead of being regarded as intelligent or knowledgeable, many a woman would rather be regarded as beautiful or good in the kitchen; many a man, as handsome or good in bed.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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