Aphorisms Quotes

Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.

To have luck and fail to act on it is tantamount to not having luck at all. In fact, it was worse. Barnes thought back to his self-help manuals. They all proclaimed with compelling force the necessity of recognizing opportunity then seizing it when it stuck.

We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.

No misery ever so beautiful than the one this mind creates.

Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!

The true basis and propaedeutic for all knowledge of human nature is the persuasion that a man's actions are, essentially and as a whole, not directed by his reason and its designs; so that no one becomes this or that because he wants to, though he want to never so much, but that his conduct proceeds from his inborn and inalterable character, is narrowly and in particulars determined by motivation, and is thus necessarily the product of these two factors.

Body language has no translation.

There’s no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far.

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.

Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.

We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are—to most people—not important at all.

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

It's not over till the fat lady eats!

Most of the very few people who would choose a good heart over riches would eventually use that to either make a lot of money, or attract men or women who are rich.

The wind is blowing. Don’t bend if you want to please him.

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.

Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

We are entitled to violate history, provided that it results in handsome offspring.

The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.

Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.

I have a wide circle of friends, wide enough to keep them away from me.

The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you raising?’ are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men’s children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children.

We sometimes reveal how ignorant or bored we were when we read a book by giving it 5-stars.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.

Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit.

With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.

Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.

Our parents would not be ‘The best parents in the world’ (to us) if they were not our parents.

A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.

Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.

In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.

The only way to fight nostalgia is to listen to somebody else's nostalgia

Some people respect some people only because some people respect them.

It takes two to bribe.

Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

A criminal always returns home.

Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.

The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today.

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

I have nothing to lose. I keep all my valuables in a safe.

Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn’t as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

You burn like a candleinside my soul,showing me a waythrough this darkness.