Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 4

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!

Matt Groening

Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate and read comic books in bed with the covers up until the world looks more encouraging. Of course, they never let you do that.

Bill Watterson

Peace ain't worth fighting for.

Brian Spellman

How a plain and wagon on Mulberry Street, Grows into a story that no one can beat

Dr. Seuss

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

Bill Watterson

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

Scott Adams

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

Dr. Seuss

There's an ad for every vice. That's advice.

Brian Spellman

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would.

Brian Spellman

I thought about how all that mattered, in all entirety, and all I wanted, and all I could see anything being worth anything for, was being a writer.

Ariel Schrag

Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having new notebooks and stuff!Calvin:All I've got to say is they're not making me learn any foreign languages. If English is good enough for me, then by golly, it's good enough for the rest of the world! Everyone should just speak English or shut up, that's what I say!Susie: You should maybe check the chemical content of your breakfast cereal.

Bill Watterson

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz

Homeopathy is the only non-violent health care system

Ron Harris

Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!

Hergé

If I was president of the Slime Committee, I'd make it easier to come clean about shit. If coming clean is what you're supposed to do, then it should be made more fucken accessible, I say.

D.B.C. Pierre

It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.

Ryan North

Oh, they don't allow the Bible in Heaven, Miss Mary...It contains far too much sex and violence.

Bryan Talbot

Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

Scott Adams

Happiness is like time and space--we make and measure it ourselves; it is a fancy--as big, as little, as you please; just a thing of contrasts and comparisons, like health or strength or beauty or any other good--that wouldn't even be noticed but for sad personal experience of its opposite!--or its greater!

George du Maurier

It is true that I am a person with black pockets of evil and hatred in my heart. There are underground places inside of me

Lynda Barry

It's imprecise and insufficient, defining the homosexual as a person whose gender expression is at odds with his or her sex.

Alison Bechdel

So where'd you park the car, Max?''I don't know. I couldn't see over the wheel.''That's okay. I think I can smell it.

Steve Purcell

Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Howard Tayler

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

Charles M. Schulz

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.

Oliver Markus

There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it.I believe there is something in these old stories that does what singing does to words. They have transformational capabilities, in the way melody can transform mood.They can't transform your actual situation, but they can transform your experience of it. We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.

Lynda Barry

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

Charles M. Schulz

I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.

Jeff Kinney

Gay rights aren't predicated on being born gay or having the right gene. Gay rights are predicated on having choice and consent. If you're a man and you can find another man that consents to have sex with you, it's the consent that gives you the right to have sex with him. Genetics are irrelevant when it comes to sexual rights. Just as gay rights are based on choice and consent, so are prostitution rights. All sexual rights are based on choice and consent.

Chester Brown

It's weird how I am constantly surprised by the passage of time when it's literally the most predictable thing in the Universe.

Randall Munroe

You can change only what people know, not what they do.

Scott Adams

Don’t be lookin up at no sky for help. Look down here, at us twisted dreamers.

D.B.C. Pierre

MagicSandra’s seen a leprechaun,Eddie touched a troll,Laurie danced with witches once,Charlie found some goblins gold.Donald heard a mermaid sing,Susy spied an elf,But all the magic I have knownI've had to make myself.

Shel Silverstein

So Yoda sounds like our best bet as an energy source. But with world electricity consumption pushing 2 terawatts, it would take a hundred million Yodas to meet our demands. All things considered, switching to Yoda power probably isn't worth the trouble — though it would definitely be green.

Randall Munroe

And sometimes I try to stop speculating the future out of existence, and other times I just lean back and run with it because maybe it's for the best.

Bryan Lee O'Malley

Your idea doesn't have to be big. It just has to be yours alone. The more the idea is yours alone, the more freedom you have to do something really amazing. The more amazing, the more people will click with your idea. The more people click with your idea, the more it will change the world.

Hugh MacLeod

I had a dream about you last night... if atomic clocks are synced up to a satellite to keep their time accurate, where does the satellite get its time? Is there a chain of atomic clocks setting time for other atomic clocks?

Marshall Ramsay

I think we place the wrong emphasis upon examples, that we're treading on very weak ground when we set ourselves up as examples for others to become religious. If people are going to look at me for religious guidance, then I think they're looking in the wrong place.

Charles M. Schulz

He always accuses me of trying to look'cool', I was like, 'everybody tries to look cool, I just happen to be successful.

Daniel Clowes

You're never too old to be young.

Paul Palnik

Sweet mother Mary, boy, think about what you’re doing! Be cruel or be kind, but don’t be both, because now you’ve made a mess you can’t clean up in a hurry.

Ursula Vernon

What do you think? Overkill?""I don't believe there is any such thing.But in this case, 'yes, overkill.

Howard Tayler

Freedom is not an individual effort.Yours comes only when you grant others theirs

Sergio Aragonés

Children's reading and children's thinking are the rock-bottom base upon which this country will rise. Or not rise. In these days of tension and confusion, writers are beginning to realize that books for children have a greater potential for good or evil than any other form of literature on earth.

Dr. Seuss

The sexier the other woman is, the more jealous your wife gets. And that's where slut shaming comes from. When a woman is too sexually attractive, when she's too good at attracting the attention of the opposite sex, other women will shame her for it, because they are afraid she will steal their men.

Oliver Markus

Moreover, man carries in his heart the desire always to wield his scientific knowledge in service of the greater good. He would of course never use it for destructive purposes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ...

Jacques Tardi

There is neither a Heaven nor a Hell. Life after Death is an oxymoron. Life is just another word for existence, and Death is just another word for non-existence.

Oliver Markus Malloy

Ourchestra:So you haven't got a drum, just beat your belly.So I haven't got a horn-I'll play my nose.So we haven't any cymbals-We'll just slap our hands together,And though there may be orchestrasThat sound a little betterWith their fancy shiny instrumentsThat cost an awful lot-Hey, we're making music twice as goodBy playing what we've got!

Shel Silverstein

A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you.

Brian Spellman

I had a dream about you last night... I think flying saucer activity is pretty easy to explain; if I had one, I'd go joyriding too.

Marshall Ramsay

C'mon, let's go in my room and abuse drugs and stuff!

Daniel Clowes

Some folks can look so busy doing nothin' that they seem indispensable.

Kin Hubbard

There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy.

Brian Spellman

Too many moralists begin with a dislike of reality.

Clarence Day Jr.

I'm here because all fairy tales take place in the woods, King Cole, even those that don't.

Bill Willingham

Calling a book "Young Adult" is just a fancy way of saying the book is censored.

Oliver Markus

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Bill Watterson

Babies are never suicidal. Hard lives, not hard boiled eggs do that.

Brian Spellman

The journalist must strive to find out what is going on and tell it, not neuter the truth in the name of equal time.

Joe Sacco

There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.

Bill Watterson

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